I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
