White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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