I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This toilet bowl is my home.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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