She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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