i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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