you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
