If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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