You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
