i just google imaged poop.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
