The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
