it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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