Banned from zoo.
Again?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
