420 ftw
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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