don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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