Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
