The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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