What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
