garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Me too!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
