ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
