oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
