So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
