Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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