I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
