i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
