How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
