im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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