Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
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We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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