he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
