I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
