that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
