I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Oh god it's open bar.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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