Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
