google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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