...so i touched it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize