Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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