whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
