Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
please come you make the beer taste better
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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