I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
