i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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