I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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