thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
