somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
