Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
