when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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