ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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