Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
