Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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