Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
