I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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