Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
