I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
