i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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