Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
