I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
