so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
