I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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