kristin has been a bad kristin
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
