just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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