walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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