So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
