Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
