Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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