As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
