it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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