You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
not ubering you a puppy
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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