Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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