She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just invented taco cereal.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
