I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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