I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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